Taking a Different Perspective
by Doppler Effect
Summary: For whatever reason, Ed is in the Flock's world. He hears their story, and basically tells them all to get a life. And that they really know how to do stupid things.


A/N: First story, so hope this doesn't blow up in my face. If something explodes, that might burn my house down. Which would give us an excuse for marshmallows, but whatever. Anyway, thought you might want to know that this begins seriously, but becomes funnier at the end. Sorry about that, but please keep reading! I didn't know how else to introduce them.

This is roughly halfway through MR: 6, when Angel has superiority issues. Doesn't matter when it is in FMA.

Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, I wouldn't have killed off Hughes and Greed. If I owned Maximum Ride, Fang wouldn't be a jackass at the end of the sixth book, and Angel wouldn't be a really stupid and way over-spoiled brat. James Patterson owns Maximum Ride, and Hiromu Arakawa owns Fullmetal Alchemist. But I digress.

* * *

The Flock flew in awkward silence. After the house fire, Max had all but thrown everyone out of the house and gotten all the bird kids to go flying. Nobody was speaking, but electricity was flying from Fang to Dylan, Dylan to Fang, Max to Dylan, Max to Angel, and Angel to Max. Nudge, Gazzy, Iggy, and Total wisely chose not to participate.

Nudge glanced down, and saw something golden flash before it disappeared in the trees as they passed over. She frowned, and looked up at Max from habit. She found Max directing killer glares at Dylan and Angel. She glanced back at where she thought she had seen something, and then peeled back from the others to check it out again.

Max glanced back to see Nudge circling over a particular spot, confusion on her face. "Hey, Nudge? What's up?" she asked cautiously, and dipped one wing to bring her over to Nudge.

Nudge glanced up at them. "Um, guys? Come look at this." The flock gathered around her, and looked down at what she had pointed at. A golden-haired boy was sleeping against a tree.

Max started to dive down to him, before Dylan pulled her back. He narrowly avoided a reflexive fist crashing into his head. "Wait," he said, and dropped her arm quickly, "we don't know if he's from one of the Schools, or if he has a tracker."

She glared at him, before dropping past him to the boy. The Flock wasn't slow in following.

They hit the ground lightly, and hurried over to him. "Do we wake him or just leave him...?" Gazzy asked uncertainly, gaze flickering between Angel and Max.

"No. Dylan's right. He could be from the School, and even if he isn't, he's conveniently placed near us. He's probably got a tracker, or he's like those two kids we found in the marshes that one time," Angel said, and Max shot her a glare.

The kid's eyes flickered, and a finger twitched. They snapped their heads to him.

"Five minutes of questioning, and then we'll decide," Max compromised.

Iggy suddenly whipped around at the sound of something that went unheard by everyone else, and started to stand. The Flock joined him, before injections of morphine hit them all.

* * *

Ed woke up, bars around him. _Am I in jail_ again_? Wait, what'd I do this time?_ He sat up, gaze flickering around him. He found himself in a dog crate, surrounded by the crate's siblings, ranging in size. Seven kids were in dog crates around him. A small black dog was slumped in another crate. A few other people were sprawled in crates.

After a few minutes more, and one of the kids around him stirred. She sat up, glaring as Ed had. He leaned back in his cage as she turned her glare to the sound, and crossed his arms.

"I've got no clue where the hell I am. Care to explain?" Ed said, raising an eyebrow.

The girl stared at him for another second before one of the other kids started to pick himself up. "Gazzy! Are you okay?" she called to the kid. He glanced at her, and nodded.

"Hey, I'm still in the dark here," Ed said, raising an arm. He glanced around himself, at the room only lit by what filtered through the doorway. "Literally and figuratively."

As the other kids sat up, along with the apparently talking dog who wouldn't shut up once he woke, the first girl, named Max, began to explain about the School, and the Flock.

* * *

He stared at all of them, eye twitching. Max stared back, unblinking. "Pretty screwed up life, eh?"

He turned his gaze to her, the eye twitch disappearing into a tick mark. He bowed his head and rubbed it irritably with his left hand. "Let me get this straight.

"Some guy got you out of here once. Few years of hanging around the mountains, and Miss Powerful-" Angel "-over there got kidnapped and thrown back here. So the rest of you, minus the flirtatious guy-" Dylan "-and talking dog, went after her. Max, _the one who took care of you when this Jeb guy was missing and the leader_, led everyone in and out and got Miss Prissy-" Angel again "-out. Am I good so far? Of course I am. After all this, you went to New York, where _Max_ got you into the Institute of Some Shit or Other and kicked some ass and got you all out.

"Later, with info on your parents which you all ingeniously misplaced, you got attacked by a bunch of dogs with a zombie as a leader who nearly got you," Ed pointed at Fang, "killed. After going to a hospital, you met Agent Wonderful who gave you a house, and while your _leader_, look above for further information, told you all this was a bad idea and you would all most likely get chased out by Erasers, you all ignored her and stayed. Few weeks later, and guess what happens? After escaping, some clone takes her place and leads you all to what was supposed to be your deaths. Oh, before Max crashed the party and saved all your ungrateful asses.

"For some stupid reason, you all got captured. _Again_. I don't know, maybe you're all accident prone. Or you're a bunch of dumbasses, which I'm honestly leaning toward by this point. Guess who got you out because of forward thinking? _Max_. Afterwards, she let someone who just helped saved your once again ungrateful asses join the Flock. Which is totally understandable. But _noooo_, you all have to go snippy about it, and _half _of you dumbasses _leave_. Which decreases your numbers and makes you more vulnerable to attacks, FYI. Skipping forward a few more idiotic actions of all of yours, _Max_ got all your asses out of this.

"Later, and you go save the penguins or something. During which Fang goes and flirts with some girl five or so years older than himself. Which is just…ew. Oh yeah, and Max got you all out of a hurricane. Minus Flirty-" Still Dylan "-over there.

"Later, and after kicking some Navy ass, you go on a submarine. And rescue more fish. Moving on, and we have before us Miss Power Grabber." Angel.

"My summary of right now? You all are _idiots_."

The Flock stared at him. Angel scowled. "What do you mean we're idiots? And I'm not a power grabber. Max isn't making good decisions anymore."

Ed stared at her. "Do you really want me to say all of that again? You would all be _dead_ or _worse_ if the leader who has taken care of your ungrateful ass this whole time hadn't been there. You would have fallen apart centuries ago. And now you're planning to kick her out because teenage hormones are acting up. News flash: when you're her age, you'll be making out with some guy too."

Jaws dropped, and there were a few nose bleeds as everyone pictured what Ed had just said.

"So!" Ed said, waving the others off happily, totally dismissing what he had just said earlier. "Who wants to do a jail break?"

The Flock exchanged glances. Angel was still fuming. "You can get us out?" Nudge asked, surprised.

"Duh. It's my job, actually." He paused. "Well, not breaking out of jail, but how I'm going to get us out is." He shrugged, and folded his arms behind his head, leaning on them and the side of the cage behind them and watching the flock with an all-knowing smirk. "But before I do, I'm guessing the guys listening on the other end of the microphone embedded in the wall over there have something to say."

There was a brief pause before five figures entered and one flicked on the lights. "How'd you know we were listening?" one asked.

Ed raised an eyebrow. "I've done enough eavesdropping of my own to know where to look. Mind if we leave?"

Another one snapped at him. "You will not be leaving here. I don't know why you think you can, but you won't."

Ed grinned at him devilishly. "That's what you think."

Five minutes later, and the School was smaller than Ed. Which is saying something.

* * *

A/N: I think Ed was OOC here. Sorry. But I needed _someone_ to bitch at Angel and Dylan. And I happened to be reading Fullmetal Alchemist around the time I decided to write this, and I was wondering what I should do first, so… By the way, when Ed said, "Afterwards, she let someone who just helped save all your ungrateful asses join the Flock. Which is totally understandable," Ed was actually being hypocritical. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, I'll give you a hint. *cough* _Scar_ *cough*.

No, I am _not_ against what the Flock was doing in books four, five, and six in concern of the environment. But I figured when Ed came through, he wouldn't fully understand the problem, so that's why he acts like what they did wasn't important. Just making sure you understood that.

Thanks for reading!


End file.
